Forgiveness and Your Health

Do you suffer from high blood pressure or cholesterol? What about chronic headaches, shoulder, neck, and/or other muscle pain? Are you struggling emotionally with signs of depression, anxiety, anger management, or sleep problems? Forgiveness has the power to change all these ailments without one step to a physician’s office or any medications. Mayo Clinic has been doing research that indicates lower levels of blood pressure, muscle pains, and decreased dysfunctional emotional symptoms from finding forgiveness in their lives.
Most of us suffer from anger either towards others or ourselves about some negative event that has happened in our lifetime. Some of us hold on to that anger and resentment for decades. Imagine what all that hardened emotion is doing to you from the inside. It can develop into a chronic state of depression, an ulcer, or a tumor.
Morter Health Systems has developed a five step guide to working on forgiveness. This holistic approach with the help of a mental health counselor can get you on the road to recovery from physical and emotional ailments. The first step is to forgive you. It can be extremely challenging to forgive others if you can’t even forgive yourself. This can be difficult, depending on the severity of the wrongdoing. Some of us simply need to forgive ourselves for being angry at another and some of us struggle with issues as heavy as abortion. Seek a trained counselor if you need to talk through sensitive issues with a non-judgmental, confidential, and professional person.
The second step is to forgive others. It is not necessary for you to tell them they are forgiven. There may even be cases where a person believes they have done nothing wrong and will laugh at the idea of being forgiven, which may start the whole process over for you. The important aspect to remember is your feeling of peace and forgiveness about that person.
Third, be able to allow others to forgive you. If you have honestly done step number one, step three will not be as complicated. Knowing you deserve that forgiveness and have done so for yourself makes it easier to accept from someone else. Remember that this does not always mean they will forgive you or that you even need to ask for their forgiveness. The deeper meaning here is that you be open and free of anger and resentment.
Step number four involves wishing the other person well. This does not mean that you are condoning any behavior they may have wrongfully done to you. You use step four to help envelop a freedom from the burdens of anger and resentment you have beyond simple forgiveness. Although step number four appears to be about the other person, it is inevitably about you, your health, and happiness.
Lastly, step five is to learn the lesson. So often in life we make a mistake and become angry with ourselves but then later we are making the same mistake again. Whether that be to get involved with someone who is unhealthy for us or our own personal mistakes towards others, we need to be aware of the mistake and stop the cycle. So work the steps and learn the lesson so you are not reliving the pain over and over.
Mental health counselors, physicians, and even chiropractors like Dr. Rose Melvin of Peoria Heights are using an approach to forgiveness to help battle people’s physical and emotional problems. There is light, peace, and serenity at the end of the tunnel.

Counseling Burn Out

Burn out is high in my field. Turn over rates are high at counseling agencies as well. Dealing with people with issues, especially those with severe issues such as suicide, major aggression, antisocials, and sex offenders, can be extremely exhausting. It is so important to care but not to take responsiblity for the clients and their actions. I see way too many counselors and social workers in this field believing it is their fault that a client did not get better, when in fact, the client did not want to change or was not willing to make any effort.
I was taught that a counselor should do the majority of the work the first 2-3 sessions but after that, the work is up to the client and you should never be working harder than your client. Especially when working with criminals and adolescents, it is important because they are so guarded and usually do not want the help anyway. However, I personally am willing to put in more effort when dealing with adolescents because they are extremely guarded and usually enter counseling against their will. So I am willing to spend more time and effort to build a relationship with them and be patient to bring them to a point where they want to change. HOWEVER, I do not neglect myself in the process.
Taking care of oneself is highly underrated in this field. Whether it be spending time with friends, reading a good book, watching a movie, or working out, a person must have a release so not to hold on to all that tension. So to all you social workers and counselors out there, make sure to take care of YOU! You can't help others if you are so tired and worn out you can't think straight. That goes for teachers, day care workers, and anyone else who works with people!!!

Pain is NOT Suffering

"Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or ayear,
but eventually it will subside and something else will take it's place. If I
quit, however, it will last forever."
Lance Armstrong
Cancer survivor and cyclist

Suffering is the avoidance of pain. So many of us avoid pain like it is the plague. This is why I have a job and deal with clients on a daily basis who say they want therapy but them become resistant and guarded. It is why our society is so full of anger and hostility. Most of us mask our hurt and pain with anger because it doesn't hurt as much. At least on the outside. Ultimately, this is what causes so much suffering and misery in the world and why I have a job! I try to tell my clients that pain is inevitable but suffering is optional and that they can move forward in life if they can find a way to grasp and hold on and experience the pain they are feeling fully and embrace it, but more often than not, they refuse. They are young (although many adults still have this level of emotional maturity as well) and can't see the growth that could come from their grief and hurt in the long run.

I went to this workshop yeterday on a new (well, it's been around for 20 years but only been out of the experimental zone for health insurances for 5) technique used with trauma patients, people with depression, grief, and other ailments of the sort called EMDR. EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It has been proven to have long lasting effects on the abovementioned disorders longer than any other other treatment out there! It's so effective you have to be specially trained and certified (which is not cheap!) to use it and bill insurance for it because they don't want every clinican out there that isn't trained using it incorrectly and bringing the stats down.

So the way this works has to do with rewiring the brain to store the traumatic or depressing thoughts they have in a different way so that it is not so sad or traumatic or anxiety provoking for them. The person watches your fingers or a light move back and forth very quickly (there are also tones that you can hear back and forth through headphones or vibrating mechanisms you hold in either hand) while you think of a specific memory and the relaxing chemicals that are released when your eyes move back and forth helps restore the memories in a different place. There was a lot of talk about the amygdala and the hippocampus and the corpus callosum (which is the band of nerve fibers that connects both sides of the brain) and how they work in all this but I can't remember all the details.

A person might hear this and think it sounds all hokey but I just think about what we know about sleep and REM (rapid eye movement) and how that is the most resting part of the sleep where the brain rejuvenates and it makes sense that something that makes your eyes move back and forth (just like they do under your eyelids during this cycle of sleep) would relax you and rewire the brain! Just think of hypnosis. Same kind of concept yet not as deep of a mind state.

I am excited to learn more about this and possibly get certified in it. With all of the people coming back from Iraq and the insurance companies eating this therapy up (including the Department of Defense), it's a sure way to help those coming back with PTSD and for me to have a big clientele base. :)

Forgiveness

I am exploring the idea of forgiveness in my therapeutic techniques to lower my stress level. Did you know that places like Mayo Clinic have proven studies that show that forgiveness lowers blood pressure and heart rate as well as diminishes headaches, TMJ, and other ailments. Forgiveness can be such a difficult thing to do but stop and think about how angry you are right now about things that have happened or are happening in your life. How you have been treated unjustly and still hold that anger. Think about how many people walk around so angry all the time and critical of how they have been wronged or angry with themselves about things they have done. I believe that one of the first steps to happiness and healthiness (physically, mentally, and spiritually) is to forgive ourselves and others for the wrongs we have done or felt others have done to us.
Who is the one hurting by staying angry? Definitely not your old boss or co-worker or old friend. You are. Stop hurting and begin searching your mind and heart to find a way to forgive so you can be on a better path to living!

Mind and Body Connection

I am a counselor so I am obviously aware of the conscious vs subconscious mind. So it was surprising to hear from my chiropractor (of all people!) that my neck and shoulder pain is more of a stress issue than it is of a vertebrae issue. He (Dr. Melvin Rose) has turned me on to some state of the art research and practices they are now using at Mayo Clinic and other prestige places to help people with stress management among other things.
I spent my last chiropractor visit doing much more than getting an adjustment. Through some meditative exercises, he helped me see that I am struggling with things that shame me. Anger, forgiveness, judgment, and the one that ties that all together, sincerity. I call myself a Christian and I believe in the Lord your God with all my might. (Which is why I probably passed the exercises related to faith and love.) However, these other issues that are stemming in my subsconscious towards people in my life and past experiences I have had helped me realize that on a SUBCONSCIOUS level, I do not feel sincere in my walk with Christ because I am struggling with these areas that are keeping me from being as close to Christ as I could be.
Luckily, there is a cure! These meditative exercises Dr. Rose taught me use both the body and the mind to clear these issues in my subconscious and I have begun practicing them morning and night. I am anxious to see how they work and if I begin to not only feel better physically but mentally and spiritually as well!
And one last thought.....have you ever known a chiropractor who sincerely wanted to help you get well and keep you out of his office! Dr. Rose is an amazing man!!!!